Saturday, December 18, 2010

Act Honorably

Have you ever been asked to act honorably when you really didn't want to? Or really didn't think you could? All semester I have been in a situation countless times where my bias and jealousy wanted to rear its ugly head and take over the conversation. Thankfully, I did not devour my friend in need, rather, I lifted her up and loved her. She needed to hear truth and kindness when I wanted to bark out harsh and realistic facts. All of this has only been brought about by the Holy Spirit's working through me. I NEVER would have had the courage and honor in my heart to be the listener I have been for her without God.

I have felt exhausted, worn-down, frustrated, outraged and confused about this situation, and I have wanted to throw up my hands and say enough, please no more. Friends do not work like this. You cannot tell them they are not quite in their right mind. Well, you can try. Lovingly, gently, with grace and compassion you can try to lead them into Christ, and away from folly. No guarantees they will get it, though. Sometimes they will, sometimes you watch your words soar over their head like pretty little chirping robin.

I have needed these people in my life, even in the last few weeks, I have fallen and had so many people surrounding me who picked me up and spoon fed me love, truth and life. They patted me on the head and told me it would be all right. I also got a slap on the wrist that still smarts, and the discipline will not be forgotten. I will remember. I will remember and I have learned. God has a Father heart, and it should be no surprise when we are punished for our actions. Sometimes it isn't so clear when He punishes us for our thoughts, though...

Our mind is clouded by our thoughts and fantasies, our dreams and wishes and hopes. Living in your mind is one of the most dangerous places you can live, I have seen. "Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things." (Heb. 13:18) In order to ACT honorably, we must be thinking honorably. My thoughts have been in constant check - and the more I think I'm getting ahead, the more I am made aware of my sinful thoughts. It is going to be a long road, but I have seen a little of the fruit of having a clear conscience, and I desire more of it. I desire God to speak through me when in my own mind and thoughts I am far too weak. And He does, and He will.

Yearning to be honorable.


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