Sunday, September 18, 2011

writers block

I haven't been able to write lately. I've wanted to. There have been many happenings that come and go and my roommate or I will say "that's a blog." But the day passes by and I fall into bed, usually exhausted. Sometimes not.

So many experiences, so many friendships and relationships that are changing me. Inside and out. I want to tell the story, but where to begin? I can't make a list of how many people I bump into throughout the day, or who my roommate send my way, or who I meet for the first time. Or for the third, but neither of us really remember.

Standing at bus stops, walks to the grocery store, and standing in your front yard are all fantastic ways to never get anything done, by the way. I'm learning to leave quite a bit of leeway time getting from here to there, because I'm sure I'll run into someone who will want to chat, or who I'll want to chat with.

All I can say is that God blesses. He really does. And He does so materially, sometimes. Which is something I like to purposely forget, so I don't have to expect much. Whoa. That's me being painfully honest.

God also brings joy through suffering, he unites people that wouldn't normally want to be united. And probably still don't after we get them all in a room together. But the thought is there, at least.

We were talking about love tonight and how it comes from God. And how, even when someone doesn't think they know Him, they are completely capable of love. I've struggled with this idea for a year or two now, because the Bible talks about love only coming from our Creator, that He is love. So how can one's who don't know Him, love? Through our discussion tonight with some friends in our overcrowded (yet thankfully chilled from the evening air) living room, we worked out that all people that love... husbands who love their wives, mothers' who love their children, this is real love. And it is love that comes from God. Isn't that incredible? He is working in all people, He has given us capabilities and the capacity to carry with us His perfect love.

I'm still learning to see this love in others. My cultural stereotypes and pride that I drag around with me and that show up from time to time keep me from seeing this love in others. Keeps me from seeing the true working of God; keeps me from seeing who and what He really chooses to reveal Himself through.

God desires complete restoration, and He desires us all to live in the dignity that comes through knowing Him. I desire to see this come true, to see a contagious smile continue on throughout a person's day, empowered by a love that isn't their own, to love someone else, passed along an endless chain. It has to start with us. We have to choose to act, choose to live out this love, and choose to be in complete surrender to the One who gives this perfect love to us, His beloved children.


Jennifer said...

Emma - how I would relish spending time in your discussion groups! Few around my life like to talk as you describe!

Yes, all love comes from God. But knowing him is not the wellspring of his love. He created all of us in his image - that is not contingent on us knowing him. And it says in Romans 1:19-21 that the knowledge of God and who he is, is made known to all men so that they are without excuse.

I find it quite comforting that my ability to love is not MY ability at all, but the ability of my Creator to show himself through me, whether I acknowledge him or not.

Philippians 2:12-13 —continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

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