Monday, September 12, 2011

a beautiful evening

Okay, I was feeling a bit lonely. I'd told some people that. You might even be able to sense it in my previous blog post - I was sad. Maybe I was having a pity party for myself, or maybe I just had to work through some bumps in the road. I had prayed for servanthood, and I was feeling it intensely in the past few weeks. It was wearing and tearing on my soul. In good ways, but I think I was burnt out a little, too. After a fun and carefree weekend of sorts with my family as I described, coming back to Uptown seemed daunting. But God had a few surprises for me here. Which really, should I be surprised?

Last night we had our very first Sunday small group/prayer meeting/vision casting for our community in our living room. We ordered pizza with some cash handed to us from church friends this weekend (thanks!) - I think it was the first meal we haven't home-cooked. Clean up was marvelous :)

We had mentioned this meet-up to many of our friends that had come to meals in our home, or in the shelters we go and eat in our community, but we had no idea who'd show up. After several last minute phone calls, our count was somewhere around ten. By 6:15, we had eleven core friends here to support us and hear more. From ages 8 to 77, black, white, Jamaican, Trinidadian, Hispanic, college student, professional, child. All with stories I couldn't begin to conjure if I tried. These people are absolutely incredible.

And do you know what God did? He loved me. He loved me through people, not only last night, but this weekend. Joy has filled me up to the brim the past few days because of how much of His love I have received. As this dawned on my last night, I realized this made me more able to give love. God works with reciprocity.

One of my good friends who lives down the street and I met at one of the meals this community serves to the homeless was here for dinner. I thanked him for coming as I walked him out and he said, "You called, so I came." When we all prayed together during liturgy, Anthony prayed a prayer asking God to show him how to step out and talk to people. It was his way of asking God to give him a heart for the marginalized - who are the ones on the fringes to someone who has been rejected their whole life? This is a man who was passed from foster parent to foster parent, never fathering any children of his own. I must admit it was mind-blowing for me to hear Anthony desiring to love others in a way he is just beginning to feel and understand himself. He admits he doesn't have what it takes, and doesn't quite know how, and this is where God loves to work in people. Anthony is dear to my heart and I try to be gentle with others' stories. Hopefully this was honoring to him. I am so very proud of him.

It was a beautiful evening. God has given me much to be happy for!


Donna Boucher said...

I have an idea. Sing a favorite, cheerful song to yourself when you are feeling lonely and blue. It can't be a sad song. It has to be cheery. I had a veggie tale song that lifted my spirits....

"gods way is the best that I know, He loves me so,
His way is the best wayyyyyyy and that's the way for me!"


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