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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Heart VS Mind

They're not really competing, but it seems like they are often enough.

I was classically educated my entire education before coming to college. Greek and Latin flash cards with my big brothers, which I continued to study Latin for about 8 years or so. I was taught to think, to read, to comprehend. I read every classic that was put into my hands, the Illiad, Aneid, Odyssey. Read those. (well, read, skimmed a bit, epic poems can only be read so thoroughly). I took logic and critical thinking in middle school. I loved art and chose to study that as well in high school.

The point of this blog is not a list of my accomplishments in school, I am far cry from an intellectual. I didn't do that well on standardized tests (Math was the bane of my existence). Coming to college, however, I knew how to think, and read, and comprehend and write. Thank you to homeschooling kindergarten through high school. (Mom)

The point of this blog is, then, that when I came to Moody and studied the Bible, I could comprehend topics, theories, dispensations, theologies; read books and understand them quickly and write hermeneutic papers and my head knowledge grew and grew.

But, my heart is still catching up. I may talk a big game, and sound wise beyond my years. Last semester challenged my heart more than any other time in my life. I realized, through my weakness being revealed painfully, that though I may talk above sin I am not above it. My sainthood remains, yes, my relationship to Christ is firm, but my heart has not applied all that I have learned. That will be the daily task of the rest of my life.

To live what I've learned, quietly, steadfastly, humbly. To live justly everyday. To choose right. To love well. To know and live in that love. To live unselfishly, seeking others' gain above my own. That will not merely come from any amount of lectures I listen to or books I read. It will come from time spent with God and simple, daily devotion. True wisdom will come from a meek spirit before the Lord.

13 comments:

Donna Boucher said...

This is my favorite post you have written, Emma.



New American Standard Bible (©1995)
but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Carolee said...

Emma,this is beautiful--made me cry. So much like your momma.... Thank you for this, a lesson and realization we all need for our life.

Walworth said...

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Run with endurance dear Emma, one day at a time.

Love, Aunt Janet

Angie said...

I found you through your mom's beautiful blog (I'm a lurker there), and just want you to know that I was so touched and blessed and challenged and encouraged by this post. You wrote: "...though I may talk above sin I am not above it. My sainthood remains, yes, my relationship to Christ is firm, but my heart has not applied all that I have learned. That will be the daily task of the rest of my life." All I could say was, "YES."

Thank you.

Life with Kaishon said...

Profound. So important to remember this. I love that you are so young and so eager to live out loud for Jesus. I have found that making time for Jesus in my daily life as I age gets tricky. When I don't do it though, everything falls apart. Working, mothering, living- without Jesus daily, I fail on all counts.

Suzie said...

Emma,
I have been following your mom's blog for about a year now and today stumbled onto yours. I grew up Baptist and am now in the E-Free denomination. Growing up I always believed that a Catholic could not know Christ and have a relationship with him. Over the years I have learned that this was indeed false. Being married to a pastor, my life has been measured and weighed in ways that I never thought possible and I have learned that assuming something about another denomination is as bad as people assuming about a "pastor's wife." Your faith shows me that all things are possible with God and that God is not the God of denominations. He is there for all who will accept and believe. Thank you for your simple, yet profound post and for reminding me, once again, that what I think, perceive or feel is not always truth. Your young faith has taught me much. By the way, awesome choice in college. Moody is an excellent school.
Suzie Bauman
www.mercyclouds.blogspot.com

Emma said...

Thank you all for the thoughtful comments. This is really a new idea, and my mom was one of the people who really helped me see this clearly. To have someone who challenges me, not just affirm my thoughts. It may hurt a little, or be really difficult to hear criticism, but good, Christ-like criticism has pushed me to more growth than I have ever had.

And yes, Moody is wonderful. The professors here are dedicated to their students and I believe almost all the students genuinely want to serve people in ministry for their lives.

Kopers said...

Wow Emma, what a wonderful young woman you have become. Praise God for dedicated homeschooling Mums who desire to see their children walking with, and serving the LORD!
That you may walk in a manner worthy of the LORD, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God. Colossians 1:10 (AMP)

Mrs4444 said...

Your maturity and self-awareness is very evident in this post--I'm impressed :)

museandmystery said...

mm, emma - good thoughts. there's a good book out there called THINK: THE LIFE OF THE MIND AND LOVE OF GOD. it may offer perhaps little but hopefully much aid to the process of mending the divide between heart and mind.

we are terribly fractured people.

i hope you know that i love hearing your thoughts on many things. ask larissa: i mentioned you to a friend the other day as we talked about JESUS and his beautiful union with us, and how much i'd like to hear what you think - even feel - about it.

i hope as you continue in your relationship with HIM, HE would continue to bring you into greater fullness, wholeness, oneness - both with HIMSELF and within yourself as a created being made in HIS image and in-dwelt by HIS SPIRIT. because mending together the fractured parts of us is always better than pitting them against each other.

excited to see you and talk again soon :)

Emma said...

Thanks Tony, I'll look up the book - might have to be one that is read post-graduation, but that is not so far for us!

And I am both humbled and glad you appreciate my thoughts, which, do often mix with my feelings. Both often go together, which is why theology is so difficult for me to process sometimes. God created both, and as you said, we are meant to be fully human, fully whole, living in the constant awareness and surrender of our connection to Christ.

See you soon!

Tracie said...

Emma,

The joy of being a Christian is the journey. I am 35 years old and have grown so much in the past 2 years as I have made daily quiet time a priority. I often praise God for the growth and the times of doubting and questioning because it all leads to more spiritual growth. I love that there are more and more things we can learn about God and his grace. I am in a Bible study with many generations of women and relish all of their wisdom and their journeys. I think it's awesome that you crave time with Him. It will never be time wasted!

Angie said...

Amen!! I went to seminary hoping to somewhat appease my appetite for God's word...only to realize that while my knowledge increased, the time it would take to grow my faith would be longer than those 2.5 years... I can completely relate!

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