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Thursday, March 3, 2011

"I'd make an excellent nun"

I pulled out a notebook I hadn't opened since last semester so that I could take some notes on a film I was about to watch, and I started reading through a few of the entries. If you have been reading, or read at all last fall I was tossing about the idea of love and what it was - I didn't come to any real conclusions on feelings/love/what it looks like, I did learn so much about who I am, and all of my flaws. I also learned who I shouldn't be with, because that situation occurred several times last year.

When I came upon what I had written about being a nun, the title of this blog, I couldn't help but laugh out loud at myself. I had been writing about how I only wanted to be married if it a true union of one flesh, broken apart and needing to come together..."Adam must have his rib, and Christ will have His bride." All very good stuff, although perhaps a little dramatic. At the end I wrote "Otherwise, I already know, I'd make an excellent nun."

It's true. I would. And I wouldn't regret it either. Who can regret such devotion? I already feel like I've started this life. Giving, sacrificing, striving for God, thoughts of relationships are pretty much nonexistent. I marvel at the Moody student who is afraid about finding their spouse. I'll listen to their prayer, cocking my head and furrowing my brow. Not in anger, no, for I know it is natural and good. It's all just very curious to me. I don't really understand it.

Now I'm not declaring official nunship (or the evangelical version, whatever that may be) here, I'm certainly not scared or anxious about my future. Actually, I'm pretty confident that God has spoken into my life quite the contrary to a life without a mate. Which is curious to me too. I'm not sure what He is up to.

I know who I am and I know what I am, and I pray that men will be my brothers, friends, and allies in this fight for truth and life.

4 comments:

Donna Boucher said...

Being a nun is easier than being a mum.
Keeping God your main man and living His
Word daily with a gazillion beautiful distractions ...that is where the rubber meets the road.
Keep your eyes fixed on Him like you have been
And you will shine with His light. (your last few sentences confused me...a bit obtuse)

Lady Modesty said...

Each vocation has its sufferings and each vocation has its joys. You will know when you have found the right one when you can find true happiness in that vocation, even during the most trying times. May you find contentment in your heart when you make that decision.

Amy said...

I love your writing style. My aunt is a nun and has been since she graduated from high school. I find it incredibly interesting when I get the chance to sit down and talk to her about her experiences and opinions on life and God.

Emma said...

Thanks Amy, I think I remember you telling me about your aunt. I bet it is fascinating talking to her - it is not everyday you run into a nun.

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