Tuesday, February 15, 2011

If you're a Texan, I'm a Texan

I went home (Wisconsin will always be home) a week and a half ago. Because my best friend moved away. Even though we haven't lived in the same city for almost three years now, it hasn't mattered. Since we met, we were best friends.

It didn't always feel like it. We have fought more times than any of my other friends put together. Angry looks, words that shouldn't be said, misunderstandings and tempers. We are both easily annoyed, too, though not usually with each other. But we are quick to point out if the other person is being irrational or stupid.

We fight because we love each other. We fight, I believe, because we know each other's best, and when that person is not at their best, we know it. We want them to be their best. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, in all ways. In all things. When you've seen someone at their weakest, and you've seen them in that place of beauty and awe that only God can bestow on a person - you know that they have to live up to that. They have to live up to that because that is who they are. It is not asking too much, it is asking them to live out their destiny and identity.

Candice and me, we made a lot of our mistakes together. Almost all of our mistakes in high school were made together. We loved to have fun and laugh. And laugh some more. So, we let boys drive us places they probably shouldn't have, and take us on motorcycle rides, and keep us out too late. We were innocent and naive. And we loved to laugh and laugh. It was probably all very foolish. But, we had heart, too.

We've both grown up. So far, we are on two different paths of life. Her with a husband and baby girl; me with my degree almost finished and a life in the city.

What I absolutely love about Candice is that she has challenged me. One of the reasons we have fought so much, as I said, is that we have demanded the best out of each other. I can say to her, Candice is that loving? Is that kind? Is that wise? And she'll scowl at me or tell me I'm wrong, and know I'm right. Or she'll tell me I need to be careful how I speak to people and question my motives. I'll complain and whine until I admit I need to work on it. The key to this is admitting with what you are struggling with in that moment. Christians are comfortable saying what they used to have wrong with them - much less with how the are sinning right now. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

It hurts. It's not fun. But we're honest. How often do you listen to a close friend and think, that is completely wrong. I think I should say something. But, then you don't.

Maybe we shouldn't always. Sometimes we should. Sometimes the words just need to be spoken.

So, thank you, Candice, for making me a better person. Literally. In every way. When you left Madison last week, my heart when to Texas with you, and I knew that Madison would never be quite the same without you and Andrew.


Donna Boucher said...

Oh Lord....places you shouldn't have gone.....

fingers in ears....lalalalalalala

Emma said...

Parks, the zoo, downtown... nothing too terrible, just much too late at night!

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